How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
