OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
