mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
