I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
