I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize