She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
