Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
