I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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