you didnt know i had herpes?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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