I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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