aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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