billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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