I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
P.S. I can't hear my feet
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
