I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
