Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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