Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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