I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
