Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
