i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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