I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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