remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
that is very illegal...i love you.
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