you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
