wake up i wanna do it froggy style
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had to cum in my sink.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
