dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
