I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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