can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize