Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
