Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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