i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
