how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize