im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
