I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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