One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
