there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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