awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize