Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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