what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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