Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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