I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
