Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just invented taco cereal.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
