i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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