PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
