It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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