Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize