I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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