Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
