When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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