he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
