do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
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