She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
