I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just want to make out with him forever
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
