He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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