I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
