it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
