it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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