i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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