i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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