We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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