The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Never joke about your clitoris.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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