She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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