When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
A+ Viking dick
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