Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
