I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
