I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Who put my cat in the fridge?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
